Weddings

Wedding planning is only slightly more pleasant than walking through an active minefield. This goes for everybody involved, but I’ll focus on the parents of the happy couple.

The role of the bride’s parents is simplicity itself. “Keep your mouths shut and your checkbook open.”

A dear friend informed me of the protocol for the groom’s mother. “Keep your mouth closed and wear beige.” Experience proved she was right on target.

I offer this advice for the father of the groom. Since the groom’s father is totally irrelevant to the wedding planning process, it is best he take a vacation to Mars. That would be far enough away so he won’t have to hear his spouse cry, rant or do both simultaneously.

Everyone involved should focus on two goals for the wedding day. First, that none of the participants break down in hysterical sobs, and, second, that everyone is still speaking to one another when the last dance rolls around.

Our wedding day is not the best day of our life. If it were, the next 50+ years of marriage would be all downhill, an extremely depressing thought.

We cannot plan, program, anticipate or buy the best days. They arrive spontaneously and unrehearsed. The trick is to recognize these special days when they strike.

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