The Suitcase Lady


December 8, 2020, 6:23 pm

Last month there was a big brouhaha in Britain. It all started out quite innocently on one of Nigella Lawson’s cooking shows. She simply showed the nation the best way to butter their toast. An uproar soon followed.

I found out about this incident from my husband who knew I would be 100% on Nigella’s side. That is because he and I have a serious understanding about toast and butter rules.

Early in our marriage, he kindly buttered my toast and placed it on my breakfast plate. I could not hide my dismay and was honest with him. “But the butter doesn’t reach the edges of the bread,” I lamented. To which he confessed to me, “In my opinion, you don’t make toast, you make warm bread.”

So ever after, we live in toast harmony. I always put his toast down for more toasting and he puts loads of butter to the far, far corners of my bread.

The populace and media were unrestrained in their scorn that Nigella thought they needed instruction in toast buttering. Since these same people invented little racks for cooling toast, I think they do need advice about buttering… plus any other tips on toasting they can get.

Nigella’s buttering instructions are as follows: Spread butter on HOT toast as soon as it comes out of the toaster. Before letting it settle, apply a SECOND layer of butter and finish with a sprinkling of salt. The second layer of butter, she declares, “will stay in some golden patches on the surface.”

Go, girl! Those puddles of butter make getting up in the morning worthwhile. The world needs fewer pleasure police and more small joys.

1 Comment for this entry

  • Peter Little

    On the other hand, Mate – there’s always Vegemite. That DownUnder delicacy certainly worth staying in bed for!