The Suitcase Lady


July 21, 2015, 10:07 pm

At times, I fantasize on things that should be invented. These thoughts usually are triggered by a messy, dirty or frustrating experience.

My latest idea is a winner for us klutzy people: car upholstery with a camouflage pattern of coffee stains. Fabric in shades of brown and tan with subtle overall splotch designs would ease the pain of all those car coffee spills.

My next proposed invention is for drivers who live in climates with masses of bugs in summer and tons of snow, slush and salt in winter, places where cars stay clean and shiny about ten days a year.

The solution is obviously the home garage car wash. Just drive in your own garage and press a button as you leave. The car is washed and blown dry, ready for a gleaming exit the next morning. Why owners of McMansions have not demanded this as a standard feature is beyond me.

My last suggestion is for a small, inexpensive yet desperately needed invention, a glue bottle that doesn’t glue its own top shut every time it is used. This is a minor frustration for everyone that uses glue. For us art teachers it is a major and dangerous frustration. Imagine 30 kids all excited to start an art project of cutting and gluing. Now imagine 30 glue bottles solidly glued shut. We teachers resort to scissor blades, bent paper clips, knives and other sharp and ineffective weapons to open the bottles as quickly as possible.

The biggest educational initiative in our schools now is S.T.E.M. – science, technology, engineering and math. Get going on some inventions, kids. And remember, we don’t need more stuff in America. We just need stuff that works.


3 Comments for this entry