Potatoes

“There is no such thing as an Idaho potato. But there are potato varieties that are grown in Idaho.”

This was one of the first things my future mother-in-law said to me. She came from one of the largest potato-growing families in the state of Wisconsin and wanted to make sure that any future daughter-in-law of hers wasn’t a potato illiterate.

Fortunately, I was a fast learner. And it didn’t hurt that I’d sell my soul for homemade mashed potatoes.

My husband and a good friend are still laughing about my order at a famous Chicago restaurant. “I’ll have the whitefish, but hold the rice pilaf. Just bring two ala carte orders of mashed potatoes, please.”

One night in Berlin I came as close to potato nirvana as I’ll ever get. We were wandering around looking for a quaint and inexpensive cafe when I spotted a restaurant named “Kartoffel”. My high school German kicked in, and I recalled that this was the word for “potato”. Sure enough, every item on the menu featured potatoes in some glorious form.

However, my love of potatoes will never eclipse my mother-in-law’s devotion to these tubers. Every summer she drove from her home in Tucson to visit us in Wisconsin, and she invariably arrived unannounced. One summer afternoon she walked in our door just before dinner.

“I’ll have to go to the store,” I said, “I don’t have enough potatoes.”

“Don’t bother,” she said and went out to her car. She came right back with a sack of potatoes. I’ve never known any other woman who traveled with emergency potatoes in her trunk.

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Twinkies

The Interstate Baking Company recently filed for bankruptcy. In other words, Twinkies have tanked.

Who would have ever thought Americans could forsake their Twinkie habit? A lunchbox staple for generations, Twinkies have fallen from grace. What happened?

The answer appears to be that the world has finally caught up with my mother. Years before the term “health” food was invented, my mother was packing nutritious lunches for me every day. The format never varied: a cheese or peanut butter sandwich on 100% whole wheat bread, an apple and homemade cookies.

In my entire life I’ve probably eaten a grand total of three Twinkies. When you grow up with real food (called “slow” food now) you are hooked for life.

But now moms who grew up on Twinkies are doing a radical thing. They are reading food labels. Significant numbers of them are deciding not to feed their kids a chemical lunch.

I worked for a natural foods bakery for five years and remember an experiment done by one of the office people. An unopened package of Twinkies was placed on top of a file cabinet for two years. The Twinkies didn’t mold, rot, shrink, smell, dry out or decompose. We could only conclude that Twinkies are shot full of embalming fluid.

A few centuries from now some archeologist will probably dig up an intact package of Twinkies and ponder the culture that produced “food” with archival qualities.

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Concrete

Anyone can remodel a kitchen by being handy with $40,000. It’s a real trick to do a make over for $2,000.

Our son in San Diego found himself with four young children, a large dog and a kitchen built in 1939. Taking his design inspiration from friends’ houses in Mexico, he planned a remodel. The new kitchen would be owner-built of simple, affordable materials. Our daughter-in-law noted another Mexican imperative, “Stops in construction might have to occur until the next payday.”
Two building materials would be featured, Mexican tile and concrete – lots of concrete.
The work began. Four, ninety pound bags of cement were mixed into concrete. The concrete was poured into a handmade, arch-shaped wooden mould and allowed to dry for a week. Nine of these arches were created from the same mould. The arches became the supports for the built in table and countertop.
Then, the easiest, cheapest and most visually striking work commenced. Three trips to Mexico were made to bring home a stunning array of tiles. Patterns were created, and the table, countertops and floor were hand tiled.
One summer of hard labor, ingenuity, trial, error AND intense patience from all family members produced an utterly delightful kitchen. To which I must add, our son and his family now have the heaviest kitchen in all of America.

Click here for pictures.

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Birthday

Having a birthday on New Years Eve is no picnic. Restaurant prices are inflated, drunks fill the roads, everyone is sick of buying presents and the weather is atrocious.

But one memorable year when I was a young mother, my birthday was a picnic – literally. My husband and kids cranked up the thermostat, dressed in shorts and sandals, moved back the living room furniture and spread out our picnic sheet in the middle of the room. We all sat around feasting on our favorite summer picnic foods… tuna sandwiches, potato chips and raw vegetables. The sheet kept the cake crumbs moderately contained.

The years passed and our family scattered, mostly to the southwest. I realized that the perfect cure for a winter birthday was within grasp. Money was no longer as tight, and I could leave the birthday blizzards behind.

My dear mother-in-law in Tucson gave me a birthday party for many, many years. She had finally figured out that my favorite color was not brown. Therefore the kitchen table in her trailer sported her best Vera designed tablecloth covered with purple violets. Everything she cooked tasted wonderful, and her cakes were legendary. She pegged me as an angel food type.

I wish these birthdays could have lasted forever, but, as Robert Frost noted, “nothing gold can stay”. So here’s fair warning to my family and friends in warm climates… don’t be surprised if you find me on your doorstep on December 31.

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Tree

Your children should never forgive you for certain things. In my case it would be the living Christmas tree.

Like many disasters, this one started with the noblest intentions. I had read that in many parts of the country people bought small, real pine trees balled in burlap for their Christmas trees. After the holidays, the tree was moved to a patio or deck and then planted when weather allowed.

Our nurseries in Wisconsin are all closed for the winter as our yards are solidly frozen.

So I was delighted to spot a nursery in South Bend, Indiana, that had rows of these living Christmas trees for sale. Our family was returning home from a Thanksgiving trip, our two children tucked in the back seat. I must add that we have never owned a large car.

I rallied the troops. “We can do this”, I pleaded. “It’s only 170 miles. We can save a tree.”  The kids were aghast, but they stoically allowed us to jam the tree with its sizable earth ball between them in the back seat.

Somehow our mobile nursery arrived home, and the tree was appropriately adorned for the season. The kids would have preferred a 10 footer. After New Years, the tree was removed to the deck to await Spring’s arrival. In Wisconsin a four month wait is de rigueur.

My husband dutifully dug the hole as soon as he could get his shovel into the ground. The little tree was planted with high hopes. I’m sure you all know the 3 word outcome of this story. The tree died. To which I will add that my son plans to spend the rest of his life in California, a state where living Christmas trees stand a fighting chance.

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