The Suitcase Lady


March 27, 2007, 8:51 pm

I know where the best troll in America lives. At the risk of alienating my home state’s Department of Tourism, the place is not Wisconsin.

We do, however, have a fine troll population here in Wisconsin. Our trolls reside in Mount Horeb, a quaint town a short distance from Madison. Their main street is appropriately named “The Trollway”. Whimsical, charming and kitschy would all characterize Wisconsin trolls. They are good Midwesterners and, like us, are non-threatening. Unlike us, they are wooden. My personal favorite is the troll taking pictures with his camera. Only curmudgeons can resist posing for pictures in front of him. The ice cream eating troll isn’t bad either.

The best troll in the USA is 1,983 miles from Wisconsin in Seattle, Washington. He resides, alone, under the Fremont Bridge. This troll is definitely not a Midwesterner; he has a big attitude sort of like that other Seattle area resident, Bill Gates. Parents beware; if trolls were rated, the Fremont troll would get an “R” for excessive violence. See Seattle’s troll at and note that his diet consists of VWs!

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