The Suitcase Lady


December 30, 2007, 1:02 am

I have two perfect New Year’s resolutions.

  1. Don’t feel guilty.
  2. Don’t feel guilty when you break resolution Number One.

I love men, but I must admit feeling that they don’t shoulder their fair share of guilt. In fact, men seem to lack the tsunamis of guilt that overwhelm women most of the time.

Since guilt appears to be a women’s problem, it behooves all of us females to help each other dodge the guilt bullets. How did we ladies get to this sorry state of, “I should have done more, I could have done more?”

In my case, I lay a huge share of the blame on those nuns who only rewarded the girls that had no life other than homework and good deeds. The sisters filled all our hours so we had no time to think of the opposite sex. I suspect my Protestant, Jewish, Hindu and Muslim friends had similar scenarios concocted for them.

Ladies, we are no longer seventh grade girls trying to please Sister Mary Innocentia. We do not have to stay up until midnight baking cookies for the bake sale. We do not have to die a thousand emotional deaths when we forget to send a birthday card. We do not have to take on volunteer jobs we have no time for, nor do we have to feel guilty when we can’t be three places at the same time.

I have a few words for Martha Stewart, too. You, Ms. Perfection, are a purveyor of guilt by the truckload to your own gender. We cannot possibly live up to your “real simple” standards. Have you been talking to the nuns?

So here is my antidote. When guilt rears its ugly head, grab a good book, pour out a tumbler of wine and quickly head for the couch. And don’t feel guilty; figure the couch is lonely.

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1 Comment for this entry

  • Diane

    Hi Mary,

    I love your New Years resolutions, I too plan to adopt them. I closed out ’07 with a whole lot of guilt going on. I have found that giving what I have to give of myself is very rewarding, but giving more than I have to give is very draining and counterproductive. We women have to stick together. Happy 2008!