The Suitcase Lady


March 18, 2014, 9:32 pm

Sex, faith and relaxation are three things that can’t be brought on by hard work. Perseverance in these matters yields extremely bad results; in fact, no results but frustration.

I fail spectacularly at relaxation. Throughout my life various doctors have said to me,  “Learn to relax.” I simply reply, “I’ll give you a million dollars if you don’t think of pink elephants.” If they laugh, they’re hired.

Note that I am not talking about sleep, something that I usually do very well at night and which I know is vital to health. I have not, however, taken any naps since I gave them up at age two. Why would I want to sleep during the day when so many interesting things are going on? Unfortunately, neither my kindergarten nor my first grade teachers shared that view.

Some people excel at being low key and some of us excel at being more like the Energizer Bunny…we’re wired. I probably couldn’t work with one hundred kindergartners at a time if I were a laid back personality.

If relaxation were contagious, I would be in the right company to catch it. My husband tried to snooze in the shower one morning and, luckily, woke up before he crashed. He can take a little cat nap anytime and anyplace. And I also live with the best cat nappers of all, the felines with whom we share our house. Cats have elevated relaxation into a fine art, sleeping an average of fifteen hours a day.

Despite all these splendid role models, I don’t think anyone should place any bets on my chances of becoming relaxed. Vive la difference!


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