The Suitcase Lady


October 9, 2018, 8:25 pm

We had a little explosion the other night before dinner. Nothing major, in fact, a good excuse for laughter.

I was opening a tube of refrigerator biscuits and was (somewhat) following the opening directions. As I was searching for the silver pull tab, the biscuits decided to pop open without my help. There was a big bang and I was holding an intact tube with a missing top. Ripping the tube open, I counted out seven biscuits. The label clearly stated that the package held ten.

When my husband walked into the kitchen a few minutes later, I was crawling around my kitchen floor looking for the missing pieces of dough. Neither of us could spot them and, since we were both hungry and in no imminent danger of stepping on a raw biscuit, we sat down to eat our bowls of soup with the seven biscuits we had in hand. We tend to be grateful for what we have.

Later that evening I found the lid to the tube 20 feet away in the dining room. It wasn’t until the next morning when I was washing the breakfast dishes that I noticed a white blob stuck to the side of the window frame. Further investigation unearthed two more biscuits wedged between some blue bottles on my window sill and the kitchen window. Mystery solved: Scotty had not beamed up the biscuits.

The flying biscuits brought to mind another funny explosion in our kitchen. Young guests at our house always get to pick their morning cereal from those cute little boxes in a variety pack. (We figure this is a treat, because moms rarely buy these pricey packages.) As our little person was standing in the middle of the kitchen attempting to open a small serving pouch, it exploded. An amazing amount of cereal came raining down on the kitchen floor. Within seconds all our cats had converged on the scene and were gobbling up the bounty.

I will not go into detail about my least favorite explosion. It involves a brand new rental car, the tidiest country in the world, the Netherlands, a juice box containing bright red juice and my attempt to put a straw in said box. Enough said.



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