A few weeks back, I devoted my blog to the tragedy of 2,352 cans of beer being dumped for the crime of masquerading as champagne. Little did I realize that I would be writing so quickly about another flagrant dumping incident. This event, however, involved pasta, and the scene of the crime was New Jersey where all sorts of weird stuff happens.
Heaps and piles of various types of pasta, 500 pounds of it, mysteriously materialized beside a stream. There was enough of Italy’s finest to fill 14 wheelbarrows. The pasta appeared to be fully cooked, but some savvy resident figured out it was dumped raw. Heavy rains had simply made it go limp.
The mystery was quickly solved. A veteran was cleaning out his mother’s house which was up for sale. She apparently did not want to run out of pasta during the Covid lockdown and had stocked up.
I hate to think what would have happened if another hoarded Covid item, toilet paper, had been dumped. Our son and his friends used to decorate the yards of football rivals with toilet paper. We made it crystal clear to him that if our yard got hit in revenge, he would be cleaning up the mess before it rained. Ditto for other properties if we received complaints from the parents of rival team members.
The pasta was removed by town workers with no negative environmental impacts. But when the story went viral, social media did light up with funny comments.
“They thought they had a suspect, but turned out to be an impasta.”
“Lead suspect is a guy named Al Dente.”
“Don’t forget his partner, Lin Guini.”
And my favorite…
“No one dumped anything, pasta is indigenous to the woods of New Jersey.”
Most puns are lame……but Funny!
“Wish I’d said that!!
Hilarious! Thanks for sharing. Burp.