The Suitcase Lady


March 7, 2017, 9:39 pm

My husband’s second home is Fleet Farm. Despite trying to cut back on his visits to this big farm supply and general store, he still does Fleet Farm runs several times a week. This is a natural occurrence when you have a herd of cats, an animal café in your yard and a house. Animals always need food and houses always need repairs.

He often makes the trip alone, but I sometimes tag along. I like the farm store. I am never tempted to buy anything that is not on our list. Everything in the store is either utilitarian or ugly.

When we go through the checkout, our two carts are heaped with huge sacks of bird seeds, cracked corn, cat food, kitty litter, dog food, salt and assorted hardware. The clerk looks at our carts and asks, “Is this for farm or home use?” We could save a fortune in taxes by saying “farm”, but we always smile and say “home”.

I came home from work recently and my husband said, “I had a funny trip to Fleet Farm today. I was in the checkout lane four times in ten minutes.”

“How could you possibly do that?” was my reply. His answer was a bit hard to follow, but here goes.

The first time he went to check out he THOUGHT  he heard the cashier tell the customer in front of him that there was $10 off on purchases of $75 or more. He proceeds to back out of the lane, park his cart, get a second cart, get more animal food and return to the checkout lane with his two carts and $75 dollars worth of purchases. But this time he hears the cashier say to the customer in front of him that everyone who purchases anything in the store today gets a $10 dollar off coupon for the NEXT purchase of $75. My husband now has two carts with $75 dollars worth of stuff and NO COUPON.

He backs his two carts out of the lane and parks them. He gets a third cart, hefts in one bag of bird seed, gets back in line, pays for the seed, gets his coupon and takes the one bag of seeds to the car. He returns, retrieves his remaining two carts, gets back in line and redeems his coupon……, the cashier hands him another $10 off coupon on his next $75 purchase.

It’s a good day when your farm store gives you an incredibly better return on your money than your bank does.

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